Break Ke Baad

Bollywood suffers from a terrible illness - it's called 'milking the formula dry'. Once a formula clicks, you can rest assured the next two thousand movies coming out of Bollywood would sincerely adhere to that formula.

The latest fad doing the rounds in Bollywood is "slice-of-life". It started with 'Bachna Ae Haseenoo, continued with 'Wake Up Sid' and 'Rocket Singh', carried on further with 'I Hate Luv Stories'. And just when you thought the audience had lost interest in the genre, comes 'Break Ke Baad'.

Well, the audience had moved on. It's just a bunch of boys who grew up on a staple diet of Karan Johar-Aditya Chopra movies who forgot to. They've now grown up and turned directors. They want to make "cool" movies showcasing modern-day relationships that belong to the K Jo-YRF school of film-making but are toned down in terms of emotions and grandiosity.

'Break Ke Baad' is directed by debutant Danish Aslam and produced by Kunal Kohli. If you confuse it with 'I Hate Luv Stories', you'll be excused. For both these movies are directionally the same in terms of story, have similar production values, similar (mostly unimpactful) sound tracks, and the same male protagonist. And cool as their titles may sound, both are yawn-inducing.

Aaliyah Khan (Deepika Padukone) is a spoilt, self-centered, ambitious young girl who lives with her mother (whom she addresses on a first-name basis...why?). She shamelessly and unapologetically chases her dreams without thinking of the impact her decisions will have on those close to her. She even lies without batting an eyelid if it's in her interest. And herein lies the first problem with the movie - the poor characterization. How the hell does the director expect the audience to root/feel for a protagonist who's cold-hearted, manipulative and conceited? One can be ambitious without being any of the afore-mentioned things, but clearly that did not occur to anyone on the 'Break Ke Baad' team.

Abhay Gulati (Imran Khan) is a patient, understanding, goodness-personified though aimless and clingy (according to Aaliyah) boyfriend. He not only puts up with her brattiness, he follows her all the way to Australia to be with her while she a) lied to him all the while that she was planning her stint abroad, and b) made it very clear to him that her going away meant that they would be taking a break in their relationship. Clearly, the concepts of "space" and "break" are lost on Mr Gulati.

Apart from the befuddling characterization, the movie fails on several other counts. While there's still some humor and wittiness in the first half, the second half turns into a predictable Bollywood drama. Girl & boy are dating, girl breaks up with boy and moves to another continent, boy chases her across the seas, girl ignores him and asks him to get lost, boy goes through emotional trauma, boy finally moves on, girl realizes how stupid she's been, girl tries to win boy back, boy resists at first but eventually there's a filmy ending.

The dialogue delivery is forced. You see, 'tu' is a word not everyone can utter convincingly. You need to have a particular kind of attitude, a certain brashness to be able to carry it off. An attitude that Deepika Padukone definitely does not have.

The soundtrack by Vishal-Shekhar is pretty lame. 'I Hate Luv Stories' had a 'Bin Tere' at least. None of the songs in 'Break Ke Baad' are memorable.

As for the performances, Imran Khan has school-boy talent. He's no "actor". And he's doing his stereotypical stuff here. Deepika Padukone may seem to be improving with every movie but she's still far from being an actress to reckon with. Besides, she really needs to improve on her diction and dialogue delivery. Shahana Goswami is wasted in the role of a money-chasing-sometimes-pink-sometimes-blue-haired businesswoman. There's no explanation for why she gives long, wistful looks to Imran Khan throughout the movie.

On the positive side, it's nice to see Sharmila Tagore and Navin Nischol play the senior citizens, and Yudi brings some zany humor into the movie.

There isn't enough romance OR comedy in 'Break Ke Baad' for it to be a true rom-com. Imran Khan is no Richard Gere, George Clooney, Hugh Grant or Colin Firth. There is zero chemistry between the lead pair. And there's nothing differentiating the movie from the other 'slice-of-life' movies that have come before it. Watch the first half if it's aired on TV on a boring Sunday evening. Don't bother with the second half.